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dark times.

There has been a shift in climate during recent days here. November arrived and with it frost and darkness. Walking the streets you feel alone, looking over your shoulder, scouting nervously at others as they don´t belong there anymore. The city feel crowded and it is more difficult to breath, to get enough space.

November came with fear. The fear so many others in other corners of the world deal with every day. The fear of one man, or ten, the treat of something happening, unexpectedly.

12th of November Mall of Scandinavia opened in Stockholm. We were standing in line with 20 000 people, me, Martin and our friend Daniel when the biggest mall in this corner of the world opened. Patiently we waited to get in, giving up after an hour, laughing and taking photos of the reflections in the ceiling, walking home after almost reaching the door like nothing happened. Happy.

13th of November Paris happens.

19th of November, a week later I am heading home from work, seeing this man with an earphone walking through my subway car, checking everybody. The hair stands up on my arms when I open Safari on my iPhone and head to Aftonbladet to find out that the security police in Sweden have held a press conference earlier during the day, telling us that there is a high risk for future terrorist attacks on Sweden, claimed by secure sources. They are looking for one man and want tips. I look over my shoulder and sit perfectly still the entire trip home, holding my breath when the subway car passes the central station. My hands are cold and stiff. My heart is filled with fear.

Later during the evening the man is caught in a asylum accommodation in the north.

21th of November we look  suspiciously at each other on the subway, on the streets and in big crowds. We avoid odd looking people, not knowing what an odd looking person really looks like anyway. We are filled with fear.

November is here with its cold and darkness and this year also with fear, the fear of each other.

Katarina

 

 

0 Comments

  1. This is a wonderful post, even though it is full of the fear no-one should ever have had to feel, Katarina. Your beautiful country pays now for its open-heartedness to refugees – and that is the ultimate irony (and ultimate tragedy).

  2. Vackert skrivet. Och så sant. Visst är det just så allt ändrats. Så sorgligt. Jag vill inte känna rädsla och vara så påverkad – jag vill leva på – men det påverkar mig varje dag.

    • Ja verkligen. Man gör det ju inte med mening. Det bara blir. Kanske extra tydligt när man rör sig i det som man uppfattar som risk. Stockholms innerstad. Usch

  3. Pingback: Julkänsla i Gamla stan och Stortorgets julmarknad | Lisa & livet från den ljusa sidan

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